Loving Touch

Why physical touch is so important to our health

 We are born to touch. We need touch. We crave touch. It’s part of what makes us human. And there is plenty of research to back that up. And, according to recent research (see: http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/hands_on_research) touch is one of the primary ways we express compassion.

We apparently can sense emotion through touch – accurately 60% of the time.  Though, when a woman tries to communicate anger through touch to a man – he has NO idea what is going on and when a man touches a woman with compassion, she is left confused. No wonder there is so much miscommunication between opposite sex couples. Sheesh.

Anyway, as a Humanist, I strive to interact with people compassionately. I realize it’s not appropriate for me to just go touching every person I meet. However, I can touch the people I love regularly to let them know I love them. 

Question – how many of you in a committed relationship make time to touch your partner compassionately on a daily basis?   We all get busy and maybe a lucky if we get a snuggle before falling asleep exhausted. Part of the problem is that we may want touch, but not want sex. And loving touch does often lead to sex.

I have a friend who is a massage therapist – and she has written a book on 50 touch tips for couples. Most of the book is about communicating expectations so that touch can be enjoyed without fear of unmet expectations.  She also has excellent advice on how to actually give a good massage and tools and tips.  It’s a great book.


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