Why thinking more may help you feel guilty less.
If you are a parent, you know all about parenting guilt, that feeling that comes over you when you are not doing your stellar best as a parent and you know it. For me, I feel this most when I don’t get my work/life balance right.
I am a stay at home mom and a Humanist author on the side. The problem is every once in a while, more than I like, work interferes with life. It happened yesterday. Normally I try to be done with work when my son comes home from school so I can be present for him and reconnect for a little bit before we start homework and all the other afternoon chores. But yesterday, I got a call right after he got home and so we didn’t do that. I didn’t think it would be a big deal until we did sit down and I found out that he had felt bad about school that day because he was having trouble with the school work. I went from happy I’ve got my act together mommy to – I’m a horrible mom in a split second. I should have made my son my priority like I promised myself I would instead of taking that call. Fortunately, he forgave me, but I still haven’t forgiven myself.
So, the question is, how can the tools of Humanism help me with this common parenting problem? Well, turns out LeadChangeGroup had a post on 6 self-reflection questions for moms, but since I’m a Humanist – we’ll consider this for all parents because I’m pretty sure dad’s feel this way too. (http://leadchangegroup.com/6-self-reflection-questions-for-every-working-mother/)
They encourage you to ask yourself questions (in classical critical thinking and Freethought style) to help you rebalance your work/life balance plans and to help you be a better parent at the same time.
If you are too lazy to click through the link here are the questions they think you should ask yourself.
What are your goals? How can you do more of what you really want in your life? Who do you serve with your work? How present are you with your children? Do you relate and require well? Do you schedule people time?
What is your biggest challenge as a working parent? What are your tricks for getting the balance between work and life right?