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When dealing with difficult people it is really easy to feel
sorry for yourself and wallow. Wallowing
is sometimes a necessary self-indulgence and something that we all need to do
at some point. The problem is that
self-indulgent wallowing isn’t going to help you solve your problem
The common advice given to keep you from needing to wallow
in the first place is to feel good about yourself so that the negativity other
people direct at you doesn’t affect you. This is obviously very hard to
do. Most people would rather feel sorry
for themselves.
I take a different approach. Rather than trying to make
yourself feel better, I encourage people to feel sorry for the person who is
being mean to them. The reason is because the more compassion you can muster up
for others, the more compassion you can muster up for yourself.
So, the next time you find yourself confronted by someone
who is trying to demean you, try feeling sorry for them. When you forgive
people for not being perfectly wonderful, you will find that you can forgive
yourself for not being perfect all the time either.
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