Tips to Deal with Conflicts

Ways to deal with conflicts.

Compassion:  A lot of conflict is a result of holding people to impossible standards. Viewing the other person with compassion will help ensure that when a problem arises, you don’t attack in an attempt to fix the problem. Rather you understand that problems happen and work in a collaborative way to resolve the problem.

Don’t get drawn into the drama. If the other person is freaking out – don’t join them. You can listen and be present without it being about you – even if it is directed at you. If the other person is responding to a problem with anger and frustration - accept that that is where they are and respond in a polite, calm, professional way. Focus on problem solving and not on the conflict. This doesn’t mean allowing the other person to walk all over you. It’s more about standing your ground in a compassionate, respectful way – while still working to solve the underlying problem.

Note of caution. These techniques won’t work if the problem isn’t a conflict, but is instead bullying.

I teach how to de-escalate conflicts using behavioral science. Available as a certified online course: or as a book, ebook or audio book:  or as a streaming video or DVD:

I also teach: How to handle cranky customers, using the same behavioral science techniques:

And why conflict resolution doesn’t work when the problem is bullying.

My courses are online at:

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