Love Explained

Is love chemistry or something else. has a wonderful interview with an actual scientist about “love.” What it is, how we experience it and how it is tied to our chemical selves. (

One of the interesting things she mentions is that love is possessive. Not only do we get a cocaine like high when we fall in love, we are focused on the object of our affection and are often possessive about it.  You can fall in lust with many people, but love, it’s a bit more narrow.

Also casual sex does indeed release dopamine and you can accidentally fall in love as a result.

Romantic love is a universal human experience. It isn’t just about sex, mating, procreating and raising kids. It is much more emotionally intense than that.

It’s probably a good idea to wait until the romantic rapture of first meeting starts to wear off before you decide to get married. That way you can assess whether this person’s flaws are things you can live with your not.

Women do indeed create memory trails regarding their partners as a way of checking whether this person is really as supportive as he/she seems. And most men do like to feel useful to their mates.

I don’t wanna say I told you so – but this is pretty much the same things I said in my book The Humanist Approach to Happiness: Practical Wisdom on my chapters on dating and relationships.

Also – the above generalizations are not applicable to everyone. They represent averages and not individual people. So treat people as the individuals they are and not as representatives of their gender group whatever that is.

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