The Science of Happy Marriages

5 tips for a good marriage

I got this from Parade Magazine under a headline – the science of happy marriages. Which means, there was probably some research cited for these tips – but since I no longer have the magazine and failed to write down what the research was – I’m going to ask you to trust me, that these tips have apparently been vetted by actual scientists somewhere.

With that caveat out of the way – here is the list.

1) Remember  you are on a team. This isn't about you – it’s about you all. Work together and help each other out. You will get through life easier if you do.

2) Try a little tenderness ( even when arguing). Your affect matters. Don’t be physically intimidating. Try a soft body posture. Perhaps even cuddle when discussing things. Soften your tone and try to argue nicely.

3) Soften conflict with humor – I do this a ton

4) Support – but don’t smother – this is apparently the #1 predictor of marital happiness – basically if you don’t know what kind of support your partner needs – ask them. You can tell the support you are providing is wrong if they get upset.  Also – when asking your spouse for help – help them out by telling them what they can do to help that would be helpful. Don’t make them guess.

5) Celebrate each other. Remember to express gratitude that the other person is in your life and helping you out. And when something cool happens, be excited for them.

What is your tip for a successful marriage?

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