What is true love?

Is there such a thing as true love? If so, should you seek it out?

I’m a Humanist, which means that I’m both a realist and an optimist. I don’t believe in true love, but I know that I am truly in love with my husband.  Why does this distinction matter?  Because, if you are seeking true love, you might miss out on a truly amazing love.

Love doesn’t always knock us off our feet. Sometimes it sneaks up on us and takes us by surprise.  If you are waiting for a magical moment that you will somehow just know this is right, you will be waiting for a long time because not only is there no such thing as magic, we don’t have soul mates either.

There is no guiding force steering us to a perfect true love.  We have chance encounters with a variety of people some of whom we find attractive. If we are lucky, some of them will find us attractive too and out of those, we may be lucky enough to find a few people we are compatible with.

Luck has a lot to do with love. Not supernatural luck. Random luck.

This is not an essay about compromise. It’s an essay about real love as opposed to true love. Don’t let your fantasies about true love prevent you from finding a real love. If you are lucky enough to find someone you like a lot and with whom you are compatible, actively nurture your love and respect for each other. Don’t wait for magic to intervene.

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