That giving training to an abusive person - will not fix the
problem. The people who need to be trained - are the people around the abusive
problem. Can't tell you how many times I've gotten calls to train - A person.
And I never get the details - but eventually read about it in the paper.
Trainings, don't actually change behavior.
Why?
1) If you have a
bully in the workplace - they are doing it and getting away with it - because
it works. They have no incentive to stop. It's everyone else who wants them to
stop. Everyone else is motivated to learn how to get them to stop. The bully is
not interested in learning to stop. So right off the bat - you have someone
attending a training and committed to not learning anything. Meanwhile - the
people who are motivated to learn - aren't trained at all.
2) A training can
only bring awareness to a problem. It doesn't change behavior. It can give
people the tools they need to change behavior - but changing behavior is a
process that takes place over time and the individual needs to want to change.
If they don't - the training is pointless and I refuse to provide those sorts
of - fix this person for us training for this reason.
3) The underlying reason
I get these requests is because managers want me to fix a "problem
person," but they don't want to learn how to change themselves or improve themselves
so that they can help their employee behave better. It's their responsibility
to fix this problem if they are the leader. They are abdicating their
responsibility and refusing to learn how to be a better leader. They just want
someone else to fix the problem so they hire someone to give a training to the
problem person - and it accomplishes absolutely nothing. I refuse to do these sorts of training and
tell them flat out -if you aren't willing to learn how to manage this
problem I can't help you.
4) our goal
should be to help people behavior more pro-socially and that requires
conditions and conditioning that encourages and rewards pro-social
behavior. If the conditions around the
person don't change - the behavior - probably won't change. You have to empower
the people around the problem person so they can help create the conditions in
which bullying isn't rewarded. It's the only thing that works.
Contact me:
Contact me if you have a problem person - or would like training - that will actually help fix the problem. But only if you all are willing to do the work to fix the problem.
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