There but for fortune

I woke up with this song in my head this morning. It’s my fault. I was watching a Phil Ochs documentary last night. And if you don’t know who he was, you owe it to yourself to find out and acquaint yourself with his music.

He was a folk singer in the traditional sense, meaning, his music was about politics and about people and about suffering with a call to fix what ails us. He was a true believer and his music reflects that.

This song in particular is not just haunting and beautifully sung (and covered by Joan Baez), but it’s also a song that reminds us to be compassionate. We are called to be compassionate not just for the guy sitting in jail, not just for the hobo, and not just for the drunk stumbling out the door, but for the countries currently at war. Always remember, there but for fortune, goes you or I.

Animalism or humanism

To be brutish or good.
That is the question.

Found this post on the Pakistan Observer website. (See: Animalism or humanism) It annoys me. Only a religious person could turn Humanism into a false dichotomy between acting civilized and acting like an animal. Being a Humanist does not mean thinking we are the pinnacle of creation as this writer claims. That is a religious idea, not a Humanist one. The Humanist does not deify humans. We simply strive to be the best human we can be.

Humanists know we are animals. We are human animals. And so there is no conflict between us choosing to be human or choosing to be animal. We are both. I realize this guy was just trying to extol people to be good people instead of brutish. The point is that we can be both wonderful and/or brutish. That is our nature as Humans.

I don't think that believing we are the pinnacle of god's creation is going to help us control our brutish impulses. Quite the opposite actually. It is when people believe they can do no wrong because they are the pinnacle of god's creation, that they feel most justified in giving free rein to their most brutish impulses instead of trying to control them.

We do not need to think of ourselves as the pinnacle of creation to choose to be good. We simply need to choose to be good despite the fact our animal tendencies, in addition to encouraging us towards compassion, can also encourage us towards brutishness. Denying those brutish impulses doesn't help us control them.

Fools Rush In

Don't rush to judgement when angry

I was reminded this week of just how important it is to not act on your emotions without first getting more information to find out if your emotions are even valid.

My son just started kindergarten. He went to the same school for pre-kindergarten and loves the place. So imagine my surprise when after the first day of school he was crying about how he doesn’t want to go back. The momma bear in me threatened to come out. What was his teacher doing to make it such a miserable experience for him and how dare she do that! He got three time outs on his first day. He’s basically a good boy and never had any discipline issues last year. Something was wrong.

The rational side of me was thinking, well, my son doesn’t listen very well and the teacher does need to be strong on discipline at the start to get the kids under control so she can teach. I mean, she is the only teacher in a room with 18 five year olds. It’s hard work. So, I told my son to do his best to behave and to give it some time. His teacher might grow on him. In the back of my mind though, I was wondering if he just got a bad teacher and whether I would have to intervene. Maybe she just doesn’t like my son and is picking on him.

And then, yesterday she called me. My son is ambidextrous and she wanted to know if she had my permission to put a mark on his right hand to remind him to use that hand when writing. His teacher seems very nice, funny and with a good sense of humor. She said that he was doing fine. Yes, she had given him a few time outs, but not because he had done anything bad. He was just being a normal 5 yr old boy who is excited to be at school around all those other kids. She just needs the kids to settle down and understand the rules so the class can run smoothly. And yes, almost all the kids have gotten time outs.

Relief! My inner momma bear, who had been worried about her cub and was considering drastic action to protect him from his mean teacher, was able to retreat to her den. Reason triumphed and I was once again reminded how important it is to act on my reason and not on my emotions. And most importantly, not to rush to judgement.

The Practical Humanist: "Live in joy, in love, even among those who hate."...

Today I'd like to share a post from my friend the Practical Humanist.

My favorite part:

"Living in love does not mean living without anger or hurt or frustration. Living in love entails shaping and working these natural feelings into a force for positive motivation and change in my own life."

Well said and very moving.

The Practical Humanist: "Live in joy, in love, even among those who hate."...: "Live in joy, in love, even among those who hate." from Dhammapada , Teachings of the Buddha. In a world of Facebook pages and Web-page ...

It’s Practical

Had a cool experience today. Dropped my son off at his day care and the woman who was filling in for the proprietor asked me how my summer had been and so we started talking about how I had wanted to promote my book to parents of teens but hadn’t had the chance because, well, I’m the parent of a 5 yr old on summer vacation and I just haven’t had the time to do any work of any significance. Anyway, this led to us talking about my book.  She wanted to buy a copy and asked me to bring one with me when I picked up my son because she is a grandma with pre-teen grandkids and this sounded like a perfect book to read and discuss with them and for herself as well.

When I dropped it off, we talked some more and here’s when the cool thing happened.  She was joking about how she is a Christian but still thought the book sounded good. I assured her there wasn’t anything in it about religion, just practical stuff as that is what Humanism focuses on, practical stuff not religious stuff. And she said, “Exactly! That’s why I want the book. It’s practical!”

And here’s why I think that’s so cool. Anyone can benefit from Humanism! And most people want to, even knowing that it is a non-religious approach to morality, they still want it precisely because, it’s practical, straightforward and it makes sense. 

A Strange Wonderful Thing

It may come as a surprise to find that my book about The Humanist Approach to Happiness wasn’t actually written for Humanists. Crazy talk, I know. But I wrote it to help teach non-Humanists the tools we Humanists use to live a happy and productive life, because, really, we do have a good approach.

Anyway, one of the most common experiences I have when talking to non-Humanists about Humanism is that they get really excited and want to know all about it. Happens all the times in my interviews. In fact, just last week I was supposed to talk about how Humanism impacts parenting on The Way of the Toddler Hour. Instead, Lori wanted to know all about Humanism. Which is cool. Super cool actually. We never did talk about parenting.

The same thing happened this week on Spirituality Raw. I do encourage you to listen to these interviews, because they represent something important to those of us who are Humanists. And that is that people are REALLY interested and excited to learn about the philosophy. We should be working hard to tell people about it.

As my friend Swami Worldtraveler related to me, the general response we get when talking about our philosophy is “What is this strange wonderful thing ‘Humanism’ of which you speak?” People really do want to know.

And if you do, you should get my new ebook - Jen Hancock’s Handy Humanism Handbook. I’m giving it away free to people who sign up for my mailing list. (*smile*)

You Know What Matters

My friend Steve Gibson over at Truth Driven Thinking posted a wonderful article today On Becoming a De-Motivational Speaker.  It's a great essay and I encourage everyone to read it. The point is that while we are all so busy motivating ourselves to do more, we are often forgetting that what makes life worth living is our relationships that matter.

As he says so eloquently, you already know what matters.To quote Steve:

"I am convinced that the greatest meaning we can derive from life would not exist but for our relationships with each other. And for that we don’t need more things, motivation, achievements, or distractions from life; we need fewer! We need to experience life. Honestly, is our behavior and “motivational” mindset teaching and affirming what we value most? Our connectedness? Our social time in the village? Or do we favor emails, toys we don’t have time to use, cottages that sit empty, and more keys and responsibility to more locks and obligations than we could ever possibly use?"

This isnt' to say he is anti-motivation. He's simply advocating that we treat ambition for what it is.

"Perhaps like many sides of our human nature, ambition is an evolved trait—like egoism; self-centeredness; self-confidence; in-group, tribal bias; or being horny—which can present both a beneficial side, and a darker one. Maybe it is a trait that must be tamed and transcended in order for us to truly be all that we can be as people who are complete, whole, rounded, centered, loving, feeling, compassionate, alive, and fulfilled in our potential in the truest sense—not just the conventional and social sense."

Again, it's a great essay and I highly recommend that you read it.  If the above link for some reason didn't work, you can also view it at his old blog:  http://wp.me/puZtC-bW  Also, Steve has a book out - A Secret of the Universe: A Story of Love, Loss, and the Discovery of an Eternal Truth. I recommend you check that out as well.