Today is International Love Song Day. A day to think about your favorite love song, because, lets face it, the world would be a much sadder place without love songs. As I was thinking about what my favorite love song is - I thought - well, what’s my favorite Beatle’s love song? “I’ve Just Seen a Face” is one of my favorites. I like it’s simplicity and innocence. Then I thought, maybe a Duran Duran or Spandau Ballet song might be my favorite. And I immediately thought of “I’ll Fly for You.”
But as I was thinking about this - I realized, nothing beats a Hawaiian love song. I literally can spend all day listening to Hawaiian love songs. And then I have trouble. There are so many I love, that none immediately jump to mind as my favorite.
Do I choose something from Cecilio and Kapono? Goodnight and Goodmorning is certainly one of my favorites. But so is pretty much every song they ever recorded. Song for Someone, Lovin in your eyes, or About You, come to mind. But why limit myself to C&K? Why not go with You Ku’uipo, which is one of my all-time favorite songs. And by all-time favorite, I mean, if all I could do is listen to this song for the rest of my life I would be ok with that. But then how can you forget Far Too Wide For Me by Peter Moon and Patrick Downes? Anyone who’s lived in the islands goes to complete mush when they hear that song. There’s a reason it’s used in the telephone commercial.
But then I realized, no, I know the best love song in the world. Danny’s Song by Loggins and Messina but sung by a Hawaiian. Every band in Hawaii covers this song. Pretty much every show is ended with this song and everyone in the audience sings along at the top of their lungs with tears in their eyes as they do so. It is one of the best love songs ever written. Everyone can relate and once you’ve experienced the joy of a community sing along to it, your life will never be the same again. So there you go. Don’t believe me? Here is a video of Kapono in New Orleans in 2007 with the crowd singing along.
Even though we ain’t got money, I’m so in love with you honey. Everything will bring a chain of love. And in the morning when I rise, you bring a tear of joy to my eyes and tell me everything is gonna be alright!
Life is to be lived
What I didn’t do is give advice to people who are contemplating suicide. Probably because for me, it’s not something I have ever considered seriously. And also, I do like to focus on happier things. But since it has come up and because my podcast posts about suicide are my most popular posts (which again is a bit upsetting), I thought I would give a quick - here’s how Humanists look at it.
Don’t commit suicide!
Life is amazing. And yes, it is hard at times, and painful and sad at times. And believe me, I know. I have lost a child and been the victim of a stalking. I have known sadness and pain so powerful that it is incapacitating. I have known fear so intense it is immobilizing. But those are just emotions. Regardless of how intense they are, they are temporary and can be overcome. I am living proof that it is possible to not just overcome them but to thrive. It’s hard, but it can be done.
The question people considering suicide often ask is, “why not just kill myself and get it over with?” Humanists find this question to be a very unsatisfying and depressing question to ask. It has no good answer. So if you find yourself asking that question, stop.
The better question to ask yourself is this. “Despite it all, why not live?” Go on. Ask yourself this question and see how you feel afterwards, I’ll wait. …. To even ask that question is in some ways an act of defiance. It feels good. More importantly, even a halfhearted response to “why not live” opens up a new world of possibilities.
The Humanist approach is to live despite it all. And not only to live but to embrace life whole-heartedly - the good and the bad and to ultimately be happy. Life is amazing and hard, but it is life and life is to be lived. And if you die, you will miss it all, and that would be a shame. Especially since tomorrow is International Love Song day - you wouldn’t want to miss that.
Oh - and one last thing. If you are suffering from depression and are thinking of killing yourself. Don’t. Go to your doctor and tell them you are depressed and be honest with them about exactly how depressed you really are. They really can help you and you will feel much better once you are honest with someone else about how badly you have been feeling. If you can’t afford a doctor or don’t have one, go to your county health clinic and tell them about how you feel. Help is available, go and get it. Check out - http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ for more information
A Good Book
Not to brag or anything, but when your Christian mother in law likes your new book about Humanism, A LOT, you’re doing something right. She called me the other day to tell me she was reading “a good book.” Not the good book, mind you, but a very good book. It was mine. She likes it so much she is planning to share it with others. Did I mention she is a Christian? And that my book is about Humanism? And that the people she is planning to share my book with are Christians?
What she said she liked about my book is that it is filled with just plain old common sense. The sort of stuff her preacher talks about. Living a good life isn’t rocket science. It just requires common sense, which, unfortunately, isn’t always common, and sometimes doesn’t make a lot of sense until someone explains it to you explicitly. But then, once you understand the reasons why, it makes perfect sense and your understanding of the world is more complete as a result.
Humanism is a lot like that. It’s simple. It makes a lot of sense, and is born out of common sense. But until or unless someone explains it to you, it remains a mystery. The other thing this experience teaches is that it is possible to explain Humanism and its emphasis on secularism in a way that makes sense to people of faith and in a way they will listen to, seek out and accept without the knee jerk reaction that characterizes most interactions between atheists and people of faith.
See what a good book can do for you? And yes, I realize this is a shameless plug for my new book, but honestly I couldn't think of any way to not plug the book and share this really cool story- so deal with it! LOL.
What she said she liked about my book is that it is filled with just plain old common sense. The sort of stuff her preacher talks about. Living a good life isn’t rocket science. It just requires common sense, which, unfortunately, isn’t always common, and sometimes doesn’t make a lot of sense until someone explains it to you explicitly. But then, once you understand the reasons why, it makes perfect sense and your understanding of the world is more complete as a result.
Humanism is a lot like that. It’s simple. It makes a lot of sense, and is born out of common sense. But until or unless someone explains it to you, it remains a mystery. The other thing this experience teaches is that it is possible to explain Humanism and its emphasis on secularism in a way that makes sense to people of faith and in a way they will listen to, seek out and accept without the knee jerk reaction that characterizes most interactions between atheists and people of faith.
See what a good book can do for you? And yes, I realize this is a shameless plug for my new book, but honestly I couldn't think of any way to not plug the book and share this really cool story- so deal with it! LOL.
And the Winner Is …..
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| Jumping on a trampoline makes everyone happy. So Chill Out and Enjoy Yourself! |
Lore from St. Louis won a copy of my new book. I liked her answer because her advice is good for anyone who has just learned something new that they are excited about, not just for those who are breaking free of their old theologies. Here is what she said, “I wish someone had told me that just because I had recently figured out my own beliefs didn’t mean that everyone else was ready or trying to do the same. It was all well and good that I had rationalized my way through the troubling bits of theology I had been taught growing up, but not everybody was ready to confront those inconsistencies and me trying to force the conversation made me seem like a jerkass. If I could talk to former me I would say ‘Chill out and wait, you will find people who want to have this conversation eventually, but this person is not them.’” Congrats Lore - I hope you enjoy my book.
The runner up was Tim. I liked Tim’s answer precisely because it mirrors my own personal feelings about life, the universe and everything. It encapsulates so much of what makes the Humanist philosophy such a wonderful way to view your place in the grand universe we live in while simultaneously putting to rest the pain of an existential depression. Tim’s answer is as follows, “I think everyone one should be told how awesome they are when throwing off the faith shackles, because it is a tough and sometimes heart breaking thing to do. They should be told that they are part of the cosmic potluck that is everything, which is more amazing than only being part of a very small part of the universe that their faith said they were. We are cousins of stars and siblings of all life and that is pretty damn amazing if you ask me. They should be told that they’re still extremely special because they are unique and smart enough to realize this. That they have the capacity to learn mysteries their faith can’t even imagine and a body that can feel and experience the world around them that can bring more joy than any prayer ever could. And if they don’t believe it they should just try to jump on a trampoline without smiling.”
Lessons learned? Chill out and enjoy yourself!
Proposed Solution
Anyway, I have a solution to the dilemma I think will make everyone happy. And you know I am all about making people happy. Here it is. The way to dispose of damaged Qurans is to burn them. So, I think all the Muslims in Florida should gather up all their damaged Qurans and deliver them to Pastor Terry Jones and say - Here - burn these! We need to dispose of them anyway and you would be doing us a favor.
The Muslims could say a prayer over the books before delivering them, something along the lines of - Allah, please forgive this man and please take this offering of damaged Qurans and grant the world religious harmony and tolerance for the diversity of the people on this planet we call earth. Or something along those lines.
Then, the Muslims would be happy that their holy book is being destroyed according to Allah’s wishes and in service to the cause of religious harmony. Pastor Terry Jones would be happy as he could finally burn some books and the rest of us would be happy that we don’t have to pay attention to this story anymore.
The only people who wouldn’t be happy are the Taliban types. But nothing will make them happy, and trying to figure out how to appease people who can’t be appeased is a waste of time.
Problem solved. Your welcome!
100 Happiness Hacks
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| Share a smile with a random stranger today |
My favorites:
#7: Remember that Happiness and Perfection aren’t the same.
#21 Don’t let organization go to far. (in other words, don’t drive yourself crazy trying to organize things).
#28 Just stop whining. (Seriously - just stop)
#50 Stay away from emotional vampires.
#58 Grow through learning
#59 Dance
#82 Don’t let money determine happiness
#90 Say hi for no reason
and my absolute favorite #98 Smile at strangers
I always say if you want to be happy you need to practice being happy.
With a Little Help from my Friends
Which is why I want to give a quick shout out to my friends. After the nasty letters were printed, my friends came to my support. Told me all sorts of wonderful things about me and gave me plenty of good rationalizations on why those nasty letters shouldn’t bother me, and that in fact, I must have done something good to get those nasty letter writers so upset.
And then, some of them wrote letters to the editor defending me! How awesome is that! My friend Myra’s letter, which did get published, came to my defense saying that I am a good person and that the nasty letter writers were way off base. And my good friend Wade seems to have organized a local support club to defend my honor in the paper.
On top of that, my book launched this week and my friends once again showed their support by helping me spread the word. I just feel so “blessed” to have such wonderful and supportive friends. Heck, if it hadn’t been for my friend Na, my book would look nearly as good as it does, as she helped me with editing, as did my mom.
So thank you everyone, I couldn’t get by without you.
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