Happy 101 Sweet Friends

I've decided to actually (gasp) participate in a blogging meme. Which means - I am going to participate in Happy 101 Sweet Friends. I am to list 10 things that make me happy and then tag 10 friends who make me happy. Since I am all about happiness, this one resonates with me. It is always a good idea to take a moment and think about the things that make us happy. It makes dealing with the little niggling annoying details soooo much easier. So here goes in no particular order.

1) My family. Obviously my son and my husband make me very happy. I picked an excellent man to marry and our son is really cool, funny, interesting and loving. Being with them makes me very happy.

2) Spandau Ballet. Ok I know that sort of dates me, but I have been listening to their new album in my car almost exclusively for a month now and it makes me happy. Spandau has always had that effect on me. Its pretty meditative in a way. Turns out they make my son happy too. He is 4. Sometimes he is upset that we have to leave somewhere fun, and then the Spandau music helps him feel happy and he really likes that. Trust me - if you are unhappy, get yourself some Spandau.

3) Camping. I love camping. I don't remember being that enamored with it when I was a child, but now it is one of my favorite things to do with my family. Of course, my enjoyment is due in large part to the wonderfulness of my husband. I do the packing and set up the bedding. My hubby handles cooking, cleaning and all other assorting duties, so I can just enjoy myself without stressing out. Plus, its economical. So double plus good.

4) A Beach. There is just something about a large body of salt water that relaxes me and makes me happy. (sigh). I have seen whales, dolphins and manatees just by sitting on a beach. I think what makes me happy about a beach is that it allows me to easily commune with nature. When I was ten I wrote a note to myself that my favorite things in the world were the ocean and music. Still are. Which brings me to:

5) Musical Theater. My all time favorites are: Oliver, 1776, Sweeney Todd, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, She Loves Me, and Evita. I know all these shows by heart and can sing them on demand. There are lots of others I enjoy as well - like everything from G&S. My 4 year old is a fan of Oliver now. But my favorite for just pure feel good love is She Loves Me. If you ever get a chance to see this delightful show - do it. My first time was with my dad and we saw it on a whim and we left the theater positively giddy!

6) Singing. I like to sing.

7) Canal Boating. My first canal boat trip was in 2004 on the Union Canal in Scotland. Best Vacation Ever! I am totally hooked and now have a long list of canals I want to vacation on. We did the Erie Canal in 2008. And yes, our son loved that trip It's a great way to vacation. We are eventually hoping to do the Llangollen, Canal du Midi and others.

8) Thinking. Seriously, contemplating the universe is a very enjoyable pastime for me. I usually do my best thinking while hanging out on my porch listening to Hawaiian music.

9) Yoga. I really enjoy the practice of yoga. It feels good to get stronger and more balanced the more you practice. This is one of those things where the more you do it the more you like it.

10) Milkshakes.

OK - now for my favorite blogs:

• A Little Bit Quirky - a blog from a good friend with a high functioning autistic daughter.
• Letters from Abroad - Intelligent, Humanist, ex-mormon, mom living abroad with her family.
• Humanist
  Weddings in Scotland - The joys of Humanist weddings
• Unscripted - The thoughts of an African American Humanist and mom
• Wind from Nowhere - blasphemous and thought provoking artwork
• The Swede Life - a Floridian midwife and mom now living in Sweden shares her thoughts
• JoachimWorld - my friend and fellow Humanist Joachim De Posada's blog. He is an motivational speaker and author.
• Shades of Emerald - a friend who runs a green business making organic pesticide free bags and totes.
• The Sober Secularist - The musings of a former AA apologist. Promotes secular sobriety.
• The Humanist Homeschool Mom - I really enjoy her musings.
• Nabeel A. Khan: Humanist and Journalist - for a global perspective on issues I wouldn't normally think about.

Be Brave

Fear can be immobilizing. But you should never let fear get in the way of doing what you know is right. Yes, it can be scary. But you have a moral obligation to act. We can all become immobilized by fear. And not just legitimate fears. We are also all plagued to greater or lesser extent with fear of the future, fear of rejection, and even fear that we might actually get what we want. My personal affirmation when faced with these sorts of fears is “I will not allow myself to be paralyzed with fear.” It has worked for me.

I bring this up because in the past week, it has become obvious to me that almost everyone is afraid of potentially violent Muslims. Now clearly, not all Muslims are violent, but there is definitely a section of that community that is and they have us all scared. Even I am afraid. There are writing projects I want to do but am afraid what would happen if I did. And this is what the recent Draw Muhammad Day was all about. Unfortunately, people were too afraid to participate in it.

Well here is our official affirmation. When it comes to violent Muslims, I think the world needs to collectively state – we aren’t going to be afraid of you anymore.

Serenity, Courage and Wisdom

So, I am getting ready to give a talk tomorrow about the Humanist Approach to Happiness to a CFI group in Tampa. Should be fun. And one of the organizers posted this article on his facebook page. The article is all about how living in the moment will help us be happier. The author quotes heavily from the famous Humanist psychologist Albert Ellis. And no, I haven’t actually read any of his stuff and yes, that is kind of ironic considering I am a Humanist dispensing advice on how to lead a happier, more productive life through Humanism. I deal with common sense, ok?

Anyway –while I basically agree with the whole “living in the moment” idea in theory, in practice, it has limited application. The problem is that encouraging people to live in the moment is akin to telling people to just accept their lot in life, and Humanists simply don’t accept the status quo if the status quo involves suffering.

The Humanist philosophy is largely centered on the concept of human agency, the idea that we humans have the ability to make choices and change our fates as a result. So, if we are in an abusive relationship, we don’t have to just accept it, we can choose to leave that relationship and find something better. Telling someone in an abusive relationship that the best way to deal with it is to simply live in the moment and not think about the future is not just ludicrous it is downright cruel.

What is needed is balance and wisdom, which is why I think the Serenity Prayer is perhaps the simplest way to express the Humanist approach. Just take out the word "God" and consider this a personal affirmation.

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and Wisdom to know the difference.