You are a dork!

Actually, everyone is, just not everyone admits it. I do. And I am happy as a result. In fact, I think one of the keys to being a happy person is freeing yourself from the fear that people won’t approve of you when you are your dorky little self.

Look at it this way. Trying to figure out how to act so other people approve of you is exhausting and impossible. Trying to act in a way that isn’t how you would normally act is also exhausting and can only be done for short periods of time. So, you might as well be yourself.

Of course, to pull this off and not be ostracized from polite society you still need to be a responsible compassionate and ethical person. But as long as you are, then being a dork will actually help you make true friends that you can actually relax around. And that will make you happy.

Washing the Stupid Away

Compassion. It is a seriously powerful emotion. Compassion is the key to inner peace. It might not do anything for the object of your compassion, but it does do a good job of washing their stupid off of you. And yeah – I realize that doesn’t sound all that compassionate. But it actually is.

I recently had a run in with a seriously angry person. Hates his family. Glad his parents are dead. Would have killed them himself if they hadn’t have died already. I told him I felt sorry for him. And I do. I really do. That guy is miserable. I hate thinking anyone is going through life with that much anger.

At the moment I realized how sorry I felt for the guy, my frustration with my interaction with him melted away. It was like I was suddenly impervious to all that he did and said. I know my compassion did nothing for him except to make him angrier because he told me so. But it did worlds of good for me.

I just can’t help thinking. What would this guy’s life be like if instead of being angry, he had decided to feel compassion for his parents? Yes, they apparently raised him in a religion that he didn’t share. Yes, the circumcised him – which was their original sin in his eyes. But I seriously doubt they were intentionally trying to make his life a living hell. If he had decided his parents were worthy of compassion, he wouldn’t be so angry. And if he weren’t so angry, he wouldn’t be working so hard to make other people’s lives miserable too. And the world would be a slightly better place as a result.

Freedom of Belief has Consequences

Look – everyone has the right to believe whatever they want even if it is complete nonsense. We don’t, however, have a right to be shielded from the consequences of our beliefs. What we believe matters. If your beliefs are not reality based, you are going to have problems with reality.

I bring this up because there are a lot of people who, because of their religious beliefs, do not have a good relationship with reality. It is not surprising that these families try to insulate themselves from the real world and surround themselves only with other people who agree with them. This self-imposed insulation only makes matters worse because it re-enforces their rejection of reality.

If you want to teach your kids all sorts of misinformation about science such as evolution, go right ahead. But there are consequences to that decision. Mostly that unless they reject all the non-science you erroneously taught them your child will not be able to get a career in science if they continue to reject reality. It doesn’t matter how often you cry foul, the rules of science are not going to be rewritten to accommodate the reality challenged.

Politeness Counts

“If you want to slide through life, try being nice.” That is a quote from my father. He is also quoted in Murphy’s Law book, twice actually. But that is another story. My dad is right. Being nice confers benefits to you here and now and it is sooooo easy to do. Yes, other people around you are not always nice and polite and you will have to deal with rude people in your life. But that is no reason for you to act as a buffoon.

Most of the time people are rude it is because they themselves have problems. So, take the high road. Be nice in the face of even the most boorish of people. You will like yourself more when all is said and done then if you bend your own standards of decent behavior and act as rude as others do.